My top 5 most memorable TNA moments…EVER

I’m in the mood to list things, and after writing this weeks grocery list (eggs came in top, followed by cheese, ham and milk) I decided to shift from life to wrestling. Seeing as we’re approaching the seven year anniversary of TNA,  here are my personal top five most memorable moments from TNA history.

(Honorable mentions)
Toby Keith gets no sold by Jarrett/Jeff’s elimination from the first show gauntlet match. This was during TNA’s first PPV, Jeff was heeling it up all night long bitching about how he shouldn’t be #1 in the gauntlet match to crown the new NWA champion. Later in the night, Toby Keith preforms one of his songs and gets interrupted by Jarrett on his way to the ring. Later in the match, Keith gets pissed, enters himself, suplexes Jarrett and throws him out of the match. This was the original “anything can happen” moment in TNA.

The debut of the “Canadian Destroyer” ‘Nuff said

AMW vs XXX part 1. Best way to cap off the feud. Lock them both in a steel cage and let them beat the fuck out of each other. This match included the sickest spot in TNA history at the time. Chris Harris delivers the Death Sentence off the top of the cage.

Ultimate X. Every ultimate X match has given us a spot to remember it by. AJ’s huge inverted bump, Fallen angels/suicide’s suicide dive across the X, Johnny Devine landing right on his head…TWICE, then taking  a table bump to the outside from the top of a ladder, then BOUNCING off the tables.

..And now, the TOP 5 MOMENTS EVAR!!! (cue opening titles, pyro and ballyhoo)

5. The debut of Jeff Hardy. (TNA 2nd year anniversary) Although Jeff may not have had the best run of his career in TNA, mostly due to the ”personal demons” he was battling at the time, his debut was completely out of the blue. TNA did a really good job of keeping this secret, which is hard to do in today’s Internet driven world. He got the loudest reaction from any TNA event in the asylum and had a phenomenal (pun intended) match with AJ Styles.

4. Samoa Joe vs Daniels vs AJ Styles. (Unbreakable 2005) The ONLY match in TNA to get a five star rating from Metzer. This match was the pure showcase of the X division at the time. These three went out there, left it all in the ring and arguably gave us the greatest match of 2005.

3. Bound for Glory 2006. This was TNA’s first PPV on the road. Although the under card lacked, we had a great X division match with Chris Sabin and Senshi, one of the best cage matches with LAX and the phenomenal angels (which was brutal) and the return of Sting from a random hiatus to “discover himself”  to face Jeff Jarrett for the title. Although not the best PPV from TNA, it was a HUGE milestone for the company, delivered some real memorable moments, and got Jeff Jarrett off our screens for 6 months.

2. AMW vs XXX part 2. (Turning Point 2004) The final PPV of 2004 gave us the single most talked about thing in wrestling that year. AMW took on XXX in a cage match where the losing team had to disband. We then had a 20 minute all out bloodbath which was capped off by Elix Skippers massive tightrope hurricanrana off the top of the cage. Ususlly, he crotches his opponent on one turnbuckle, climbs the opposite, walks across the top rope and ‘ranas him. This time….he did it ON TOP OF THE CAGE!! Everyone watching was chanting the same thing: “Please don’t die!”

1. (tie) Team 3d vs Beer! Money! / The Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle series. (Lockdown 2009/Various PPV’s in 2006 plus Lockdown 2008) This one was so hard for me to choose, so I had to go for a tie. The 3d vs Beer Money match was easily the most memorable tag match for a long time. From the chemistry between the two teams, to the sheer noise coming from the Philly crowd. This match got first place because of that, and the fact that 3d had Philly in their hands the entire match, even going as far as getting the entire crowd (easily 4000 people) instructing D-Von go get the tables..in unison.
Next was the Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle series. Each one of these matches was a technical classic. You could feel the emotion in these matches and you were on the edge of your seat for every minute of it. Every match excelled the others on the card to the point where the fans were screaming for more at the end of each one. It’s just a shame that after their final match, Samoa Joe got the shit booked out of him to the point where he was getting X Pac heat for the biggest part of his title reign. Silly TNA

TNA…Where the big boys play!

Remember when Tony Schiavone (yes, I did google it to get the spelling right) said that at the start of WCW Nitro back in the day?

Well…actually he said “WCW! Where the big boys play every Monday night!”

Perhaps Don West could annoyingly scream something similar at the start of iMPACT!

TNA is WCW. Everyone knows it, I’ve just happened to not say it yet. Now I have. Let’s move on….

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS VICTORIA (hereby refered to as TAFKAV) HAS DEBUTED IN TNA!!!
Allow me a brief second to mark the FUCK OUT!!!

This has to be the only ex WWE employee I’ve been excited to see in TNA (sans Christian and Angle). She has been exactly what the Knockout division has needed since the departure of Gail Kim. She was SEVERELY underused in WWE and, if she is used right by TNA creative, could single handedly turn what was the best thing in women’s wrestling today (slowly overtaken by the butterfly division in WWE…slightly) back into the powerhouse it once was. I for one am excited to see what TAFKAV can do.

Raven and Shane Douglas also returned.  Normally I do nothing but moan when TNA bring in former stars who are past their prime, but I’ll save that for The Franchise.

I am…interested by the return of Raven. Obviously he’s been bought in to freshen up the whole Dr Stevie/Abyss angle, and I don’t see much else happening, but what this is going to give us is a series of brilliant hardcore matches. Raven is a great wrestling mind, and if there’s anyone who can add interest into ANY MUNDANE, BORING AND SLEEP INDUCING FEUD, its him. Maybe he can’t go as well as he once could, but I’m not going to make assumptions yet. I’m gonna wait until he has a few matches under his belt first. He looked to be in much better shape than when he left, and even if his best days are behind him, he can still deliver awesome promos and memorable, not technically classic, but insanely brutal matches.

Franchise. Not interested. He’s butchered every TNA match he’s ever been in, and even threw up in the ring once where he was so out of shape, and hes EVEN HEAVIER NOW THAN BEFORE!! I guess working in Target wasn’t paying the bills. Seriously, unless he can wow me with some awesome matches with Daniels Daniels (TNA hates first names) I’ll just remove my trousers, squat down and take a shit on this entire angle just like he did with his entire TNA career.

Mr Kennedy is fired….fired.

Shock news of the week has to go to the addition of Mr Kennedy to the “future endeavours class of 2009″

He returns from a ten month rehab of an injury, botches a back suplex, allegedly injured his wrist from a RKO from Randy Orton (which Kennedy has proved otherwise. He is fine. Check out the video on his website.), celebrates a win with “The Lakers” then is released by the end of the week.

Suprised? Yes, but how many times should the WWE have done this to previously returning stars?

CASE SUBJECT: Candice “canvas” Michelle. She returns after a hiatus caused by her face-planting the canvas at high speed, then subsequently botches nearly every move. Granted, not many of you have seen this, mainly because RAW was taped that night, so it was edited out. (see some botchamania for the fan recorded footage of all the botches)

TL;DR. She put others at risk, yet wasn’t reprimanded at all.

Kennedy returns, botches one move then gets fired.  One main case regarding his firing was that he was dubbed “injury prone”. Even though that is a valid case, how many times has Vince hired somebody that’s injury prone and kept them? Kevin Nash springs to mind. A guy who can’t even walk without blowing a quad, gets shoved in a main event feud with HHH. Batista, ’nuff said.

There are countless stars who are just as, if not MORE injury prone than Kenneth, but Johnny Ace fails to pull the trigger on them.

An argument against my point is that Kennedy can’t draw.  Although he may not draw on levels like Cena, HHH, Taker or Shawn Michaels, the guy was over and had an incredible run on Smackdown. Remember the feud with Undertaker?

Either way, I’m going to dedicate this coffee I’m drinking to you, Ken Anderson. Here’s to the future TNA world heavyweight champion.

Botchamania 76 is out BTW. Maffew got his account suspended (again) because youtube hates the words “Botchamania 23″. Search “Notamania” for more details. His new account “maffewfucksmen”, which may give BM fanboys an inkling into his sexual preferences is hosting BM 76 and possibly more.

Here it is for people who cant be arsed to youtube it.

Three Red Bulls and a Cigarette.

“You came to me, im a dream last night. You were standing, in a brilliant light. One minute here, and the next you were gone. I was standing, but I was so wrong. The end is here, the game is over. No more pretending, no more. No more.”

I love that song.

I took the oath today to become a full time cam-whore. Sadly, no vacancies were available at the job centre. I took a brash decision. I became…self employed. Gosh.

Marvel at my work~!

I have also discovered a profound love for milk. Seriously, how could one thing change my entire life!?

more camwhore-ery follows

Told you so.

I love taking pictures of myself, then shopping them to make me BOOTIFUL! But meh.

A Ramble follows.

I’ve made myself clear many, many times that I’m fed up of being single. I came up with a…thing that can be quoted for many others in my situation.

“You spend your entire life seeking for “the one” then realise that “the one” is with “the two”. You go for “the three” then realise it isn’t the right choice, go back for “the one”, realise it is either gay/lesbian then spend the rest of your life in lovers purgatory.”

How true is that? I find it’s pretty much accurate for my life. Even people I’ve had feelings for in the past now just get a passive reaction from me. It’s as if I’ve just grown cold to…people. I just don’t have the same urges to get into a relationship (and bed) with people that I did last year. I’ve..lets just say, become the Will to everyones Grace. I don’t mean I’ve become a gay lawyer, because I am actually a closited metalhead with abnormally strange social skills. I’ve become will because I’m always the crutch for everyone. I’ve become the person who everyone comes to for love and support. The person who is always there for everyone. The person who tells it as it is. The person who is the voice of reason. And most importantly, the person who has had a string of bad relationships, and holds on to the memories of former flames instead of persuing new love interests, thus becoming so used to being single that you just embrace it as your lifestyle.

Maybe I will find love. Maybe it’s just around the corner. Or maybe it’s in some crazy place like London or Glasgow or Detroit or France.

Hopefully I will be like Will, and find love before the end of my run of episodes. Will found love in the final season. Hopefully I will find it sooner rather than later.

Current situation in the world of fake violence.

Note: Never say the F word to a  wrestler, he’ll hate you for life.

I watch wrestling. People are all “HUR DURRR ITS FAKE LOL” but all I have to say to that is…

“No Shit.”

It’s called Sports entertainment for a reason. It’s athletic, therefore a sport, and it entertains me. I say entertains me loosly, because recently, everything about wrestling is in the shitter, and it’s not looking good.

First off, Vince McMahon. The Don of Wrestling. The WWE has been in the shitter for the better part of this year. Crazy booking, Long, overdrawn storylines and the worst of all, completely erasing the fact that they do have talent under the age of 30 that can pull an awesome match out of their ass. Instead, they push all the established names, and overlook the talent that deserves a break more than anyone. Look at the main event scene at the moment. No young stars sans Orton and Cena. They do use younger talent, either in squash matches, or in 2-3 minute matches where neither participant has the time to shine or make a meaningful impact to the boss. Name a match where The Brian Kendrick has lasted more then five minutes. Anyone?

This is not just a WWE bash. TNA are doing EXACTLY THE  SAME THING. Three letters. MEM. The storyline was created to push the younger talent. Instead, they have become completely irrelivant and look completely unimposing as a result of the booking of the MEM. Lethal consiqenses, tag teaming at the moment instead of being with the rest of the Front line. Eric Young, tagging with a nobody, same as. AJ, got the legends belt, oh, how prestegious. Joe, one man nation of violence, human lava-lamp. Rhino. Who?

Instead of establishing these stars as the srotyline intended, they decided to make the front line irrelivant and focused the feud on MEM vs planet egoman…I mean Jarrett.

HOW IS THIS ESTBLISHING YOUNGER STARS.

These people are the future of wrestling. In 5 years time, the main event scene in professional wrestling will change drastically as people, y’know, have to retire. Who will be there to carry the company into the next generation? At the rate these companies are going, nobody, as they’re still focusing on the big names instead of the younger, fresher talent who need their big break to mean something.

Faggotry update.

Few infos.

Mood: Pensive

Currently doing: Watching sabotchamania, facebooking and other shit.

News: I am half a fag.

I liked my closet, really, but more and more clothes got put in it and it was cramped. I am out as a bi. Shit.

Thats pretty much it.

I have logged in for the first time in months to write on here what half the world already knows.

I have just wasted 2 minutes of your time.

You could have made a cup of tea.

But alas, you read this.

Refridgerator.

Thats pretty much it. I have written on here that I’m bi, but if you read the other posts then you’d prolly already know that. Or at least made assumptions.

For the record, Ash is the hottest thing since fire, so are Italians, and my gaydar is now fully functioning, thanks to a recharge at my own expense.

FTW

Tom.

fuck

ive done it now

im sorry everyone

So…

Ireland Won. I don’t care. I don’t even care if Wales win (which they won’t)

Amie is depressed. I really wish I could help her but to be honest, I can’t. I don’t know what to say, what to do, or how to help her. She’s doing a real good job of hiding it, but I know just by looking at her that she’s hurting inside. If you read this (and you better, seeing as you’re the only person who actually DOES), I love you, dont go doing anything stupid. I’m here if you need me.  And I know that this is gonna seem all Jeremy Kyle esque, but get some help. It will make everyone who is worried feel better and  more importantly, it will make YOU feel better.

I miss Robbie. I know I’ve said some real shit stuff about him in the past, and from my POV we aint exactly the best of mates, but I do love the guy and I do miss the guy. He wants to come home, but we kinda want him to stay in the navy. Not because we don’t want him back, but because it’s the best thing for him. He has what it takes to go ALL THE WAY in the navy. He has the spirit, determination,  and willpower to SUCCEED. PLEASE ROBBIE, DO NOT COME BACK TO THIS SHITHOLE UNTIL YOUR PASSING OUT PARADE!! (otherwise you’re a dropout. But we’ll still love you ^-^)

My name is CHET LEMON!!! It’s my PWF commentary name. My broadcast analyst is Mr Black Snow, and I am joined with “Bruce” and Sharmelle Huffman. We make a great team, even though “Bruce” can be an annoying cuntbag sometimes. “Bruce” sent me a few texts last weekend, and I finally started to like the guy, seeing as he chose me to open up to instead of Katy, but then he sent me one text that REALLY hurt me. Although last night I was civil, and had a laugh with him, I am still reeling from it and I want to talk to him about it, but knowing me it’ll probably kill our friendship.

Katy (aka HRH Manvendra Singh Gohil) had her theory today, I wonder how it went. I texted her this afternoon but I’ve got no reply.

Hearing from old friends….

Last night, me and Ash spent the better part of 2 hours talking. We hadn’t had a chat like this in SO long, and it was safe to say, neither of us had changed. He got camper and camper during as the conversaion went on (as usual…sorry ash) and I was trying to gay him up as the conversation went on (as usual…sorry ash)

We just talked BOLLOCKS mainly, spouting out old boosh quotes, funny one liners from flames, crimping, powerthirst, the usual shit. I mentioned the original visiting date, and then found out that HE HAD HIS OWN PLACE. Yeah, I spent the past few months wondering if everything was okay with his parents (who I thought he lived with) and he had HIS OWN FUCKING PLACE. Had I had known, me and Amie would be in London now hugging pink elephants.

It was real great to talk to him, and it made me realise how awesome he is and how much I miss him, I wanna see him so badly so I can just talk bollocks, crimp and get fucking wasted with the guy. Unless you’re me, or any other of his friends, its hard to realise how awesome he is. I love him like he’s family, and I’m pretty sure if you spend a moment with him, you’ll agree.

I’ve decided. Going to London.

It will be my density
…I mean destiny.

Well, Amie seemed a bit emo today. Even though she insisted that nothing was wrong, I still cant help feel that something was wrong. If you read this Jim, If I did anything, I’m sorry. And I’ll apologize on behalf of Dan too. Things did get a little outta control sometimes. Meh, I made her dinner, so there.

NEWS: ASH SAID HE MAY BE COMING DOWN!!!!!!1

NEWS: I COULDN’T BE ANY HAPPIER HEARING THAT

MORE NEWS: HE MAY NOT BE COMING TO FLAMES

YET MORE NEWS: RHID IS, SO ASH CAN SUCK IT IF HE DOESN’T COME

My room has finally finished. Thank Christ. It’s snowing a little bit, not enough to close the schools and have mass snowball fights, but its still pretty. I like the way the snow looks. Its so rare round here that it almost seems like its a gift from God when it snows. It’s so beautiful that I wish it could snow forever, but I would run the risk of pneumonia. FUCK that.

I’ve developed feelings for people that shouldn’t be developing. Maybe its due to lack of a love life that I can picture myself quite comfortably in a LTR with the biggest part of my friends. I really hope they don’t read this. Shit…Jim does…

Additional. I realised today that nearly all my friends are either gay or bi. And with one recently outed (I discovered today that he has a thang for feminine Asian guys), that makes only 2 of my friends straight. I say 2, but there could be more out there.

I have to type 6 words to reach 500.

Shit…gone three too far. Did you know that 500 words is the minimum number of words required for a GCSE English essay?

A Haiku

Haikus are awesome
But sometimes they dont make sense.
Refrigerator.

while painting….

Oh the fun ._.

I’m having a whale of a time painting with two of my bestest friends….well one best friend and someone who is massaging me…AND ITS GOOOOOODHDFSHAHF.

Amie is writing the following for the two people who actually read this. (one of those is her)

[JIMMNG] …… i painted myself….red…seems to be going well….. but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN[!!!!!!!!!!!!] Painted over my boat………Four times. Not to happy.

All in all, night is going to be one of them nights. Thank you for reading this POINTLESS blog. Its been an honer knowing you all, even if i dont.

The end

[this was a jim production, brought to you by something interesting]

P.s……………………………………….. How big do i have to open my mouth, for TOMMING to get it in!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?